Everyday I'm Gym'n it!

Ok, not really everyday, but every weekday I am home, I plan to gym it.  I know its only day two but spending an hour each morning to myself, possibly getting my Netflix affair back ON feels like a win/win to me!

This morning I was a little tired when I got up, but still just as excited.  I even made it there 5 whole minutes earlier than yesterday.  I thought about joining the spin class, but it still seems pretty intimidating.  I feel weird because I don't know the typical group class etiquette.  Like what if I unknowingly take someone's favorite spot and then they turn into an angry honey-badger and curse me out in their heads the whole class. Am I supposed to just grab whichever bike I want? Do I introduce myself to the teacher as a newbie, or is that tacky and overboard? Achem, because cool people like me worry about that stuff.

On a more positive note I did try something new today: The Row Machine.  I had stared at this one before. I *may* have rolled my eyes at it and thought "Who would want to row at the gym? That seems like a cop-out workout."  (Yes, I too can be judgemental, but I am SO MUCH BETTER about it than I used to be).  Since I am still (WTF) injured, and needing low-impact cardio, and the step machine didn't help the situation I decided it was time.  Time to try the row machine.  I really only felt awkward for the first 5 minutes.  The last 5 minutes were good until my arms and back were spent.

Verdict on the gym so far... I LOVE IT!

On the nutrition side of things is a whole new story.

*WARNING*  -- Lack of perfection ahead

So I'm pretty much in full blown "I feel like a failure mode".  In the last 8 weeks... (taking a breath, holy shit its been 8 weeks) since my hip injury, I have had two good weeks, two botched comebacks, lots of bad days and some good days.  I tracked EVERYTHING up until a week ago.  I feel like in the last two months tracking has not been helping me, its been hurting me.  All these guilty feelings and stress have been causing me to spiral a little bit out of  way out of control.  On May 31st I was 217.6 so I had only gained 2.8lbs from my lowest in April so even though I have spiralled, its not AS bad as it could have been.  I'm probably sitting around 221/222 right now with water retention and increased food intake.

My current plan is:

1. focus on getting my GYM on  
2. relax a little bit
3. work on the root problems to why I gained weight in the first place

I feel like number 3 is the most important going forward because I felt the change in my confidence and mojo as soon as I hit the 220's.   Like a ton of bricks hitting me, something inside just said STOP.  I need to get to the bottom of this so I can move forward and so when I get to my goal I can stay there.

So there you have it, the good, bad, funny, and the painfully awkward.