Moving, shopping and calories

Moving, Closet and Clothes Happiness

Well, yesterday after my weigh-in my husband and I had to tackle the rather large task of moving our room upstairs and cleaning it out.

Now I don't really leave out much, but I'll spare you photos of the disaster that was our bedroom, it was bad! 3 years of outgrown kids clothes, 4 wardrobes worth of clothes for me as I gained weight and went through two pregnancies. My husband never quite got to actually putting his clothing in a specific place, so it was basically a pile beside our bed. I would often wonder if we actually had carpet. Well now we know. It's there.

In the new room upstairs we got a brand new walk-in closet with full organizer, and it has two sides!! Man side and Lady side!!  I love it because it fits absolutely everything I have (clothing-wise).  I never even knew I had so many clothes!

I had done a whole bunch of moving/organizing, so while my husband was doing some moving/procrastinating himself, I decided to take my break.   I got a coupon to Pennington's (Plus sized clothing store) back in December when I purchased an outfit for my husband's Christmas party.  Sunday was the first time I could use it.  I was highly in need of pants that actually fit.  I've been slumming around in my 22/24 pants ever since I started this journey.  I can still wear them, but sometimes there is an issue with them staying up.  I hadn't really tried on new clothes for a few months so I was eager to see which size I could get in to.

Well, I got there and took in a few pairs of size 18 jeans, and some 1x shirts.  I knew it may be a long shot, or at least they might be snug, but I went in anyhow figuring if they didn't fit yet, they damn-well better fit me soon.  Here are two of the outfits.  I didn't end up getting the plaid one because it wasn't on sale (I can be a bargain shopper), but I did get the outfit on the right.  Both shirts are size 1x, and both jeans 18's!!!!  This was my LAST trip to a plus sized store.  I am determined not to buy any more new clothes until I am in normal people size!!

Calorie Goals are a Changin

In other news.  On the calories front, it sunk in to me today what people are talking about on MFP when they talk about eating back exercise calories, and just eating more in general.  Originally I had been set a calorie goal that would enable me to lose 2lbs a week without exercise.  I didn't regularly eat back my exercise calories, but would use them more on special occasions.  I had decent success with it that way for a while, but eventually after a really ambitious week I would feel drained.

The basic theory is that when you create too much of a deficit, your body will metabolize muscle instead of fat because it is a quicker source of energy.  Some people talk about going into starvation mode, or losing energy, or binge eating when you remain in too much of a deficit.

For me I am most concerned about energy.  I work out pretty hard, and I LOVE to work out hard.  When my energy is low I tend to go for quick sugars, and just feel crappy in general, thus losing motivation to go out and work hard!

For the next few weeks, especially since I am going to start Chalene Extreme next week, I have decided that I am going to try out upping my calorie goal to my BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) to see if it makes a difference in my energy levels so I can give a more consistent effort than "week on, week off" because that's what it feels like I have been doing.  Also by eating more, and possibly slowing my rate of loss, I will be maintaining more muscle, and keeping my metabolism running higher in the long-term (at least that's the goal).

If it all works out I may stay at that calorie goal until my birthday.  NOW, I do like to switch it up every once in a while, so nothing is set in stone. I may play with it a little bit and have a week here and there where I eat less, or if I don't think its working then I may drop it down by 100 and just keep adjusting to see where my happy place is.

One of my big concerns is meeting my 30th Birthday goal of being under 200.  I still want to maintain a rate of loss that gets me there in time, and hopefully with time to spare.  (Right now I need to lose a little less than 2lbs a week until my birthday)

30 Day Shred


This week will most likely be my last one on this round of the 30 Day Shred.  I missed my workout this morning because I was exhausted from the move yesterday and a little dehydrated as I didn't get around to my normal water intake, so I spent the whole day dreading it!  I did it after my Bridge to 10k workout and it was actually ok.  It was still stupid hard but it was doable and dare I say slightly enjoyable?


Final Note


I guess I had a lot to talk about... I'm dreading/looking forward to my progress pics on Wednesday.  We'll get to see when 10 (or 11) pounds and some 30 Day Shred action actually looks like.  I feel like overall January was a very successful month for me.  Bring on February, Chalene Extreme, and Bridge to 10k.  I want to be able to run 10k + well before May because that's when I will officially start my half-marathon training!


P.S.  I am loving having real fitness goals!  They totally keep my head in the game and give me something so focus on other than what the scale says because no matter what you do, you never know what that guy is going to say!

Weigh-In Jan 29, 2011

Awesome!! Down two, even with TOM!

Motivates me to really want to go out and get it done this week!!

Jan 28 (Week in Review)

Exercise

4 30 Day Shred workouts
3 20-40min runs
1 Treadmill Hills
3 hour-long walks (roughly)

Total of 450 min of Exercise this week
3898 Calories burned through exercise this week

Nutrition

Sunday - 2632 cals (My Sunday brunch at the spa)
Monday - 1630 cals
Tuesday - 1655 cals
Wednesday - 1446 cals
Thursday - 1595 cals
Friday - 1716 cals
Saturday - 1584 cals

Challenges

Well I found it really hard to keep motivation to finish level 2 of the 30 day Shred.  I just plain didn't enjoy this level at all.  I did 4 days, I was going to do the 5th day today, but I'm just not up for it and got a ton of stuff on my plate at home, so I'll move on to level 3 Monday morning.

TOM.  This bastard is taking it out of me this month. He is totally kicking my butt!  I only had 40 mins less of exercise this week than I did last week, but I managed to burn over 1000 calories less than I did last week, and I ate 1000 more calories... That's over half a pound alone.  Mathematically I should be down 2.5lbs, but with TOM in town, I'm going to be happy with 1.

Successes

I would have to say my successes this week would be in my lunch creations.  Some of them are pictured above.  The baked chicken with avocado lime salsa and broiled tomatoes would have to be my number one pic, followed by my low-cal spinach and feta pizza, and finally my avocado, tomato and onion wrap with baked sweet potato fries.

Another success I had, was that I showed perseverance this week. I wasn't at the absolute TOP of my game, but hey, I did pretty darn good regardless.  

I made a commitment to Melissa from "A healthy change in my lifestyle weight loss journey from 330'slbs to 140" on my Facebook page to start Chalene Extreme not this Monday but the following one.  I'm looking forward to it.  Also I have been looking up half-marathon training plans.  I figure I need to be running about 10k on a semi-regular basis in order to start my training plan in May, so today I downloaded the Bridge to 10k app on my phone.

Hopefully I have more energy next week, because being low on energy makes me feel like I'm doing less than I actually am.  I feel SO lazy, but just now when I was crunching the numbers above I realized that I actually did pretty good this week.

Weigh-In in the morning.  I know it won't be quite as exciting as it was last week, but I am hoping for at least a 1-2lb loss.  I guess we'll see in the a.m.!

5 diets that made me fat

Not so long ago I had a friend ask me "I just don't understand Megan, how did you get SO fat?".

I'm sure people wonder, how I got this way.  Many people met me after my last successful weight-loss journey, when I was on my way back up the scale of doom.

It's pretty simple really.  My diet was not good (ok, that's an understatement, it was freakin horrible).

My diet changed frequently, so here are some of the diets I used to get fat,

Eat Your Feelings Diet

Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?  You deserve a Bacon Bagel and Starbucks BIG coffee for breakfast.
Jealous of someone, that calls for donuts my friend, maybe an ice cap too.
Someone pissed you off at work, better stop by a drive-thru on your way home.
Feeling self-conscious, this one calls for some closet cookie eating... you start out thinking you'll just have a couple, but then the whole darn row is gone and you don't know where the heck it went.
Feeling lonely, order a pizza and his friends pop and dessert to keep you and your gut company.
Disappointed in yourself, well then you should treat yourself with whatever treat food you can find! Buy a damn cake if it'll make you feel better.

This one was used regularly.  Probably a few times a week.   Obviously this is not a healthy diet, but it is a diet none-the-less.

Damn That Looks Good, I Want Some Diet

Stupid food channel and its shows, Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. Cupcake Wars, Cake Boss, Hell's Kitchen, Eat Street, The Best Thing I Ever Ate, all these shows assisted me in this diet.  I would watch the shows and then go out and re-create my own versions of these gluttonous dishes.  Things that also help on this diet are food courts, bakeries, weddings and parties.  Sometimes when too much good stuff is around, you just gotta have it!

This diet was used most recently last summer. I have a baking album on my personal Facebook page that documents a few of these endeavours.





Grab and Go, Watch me Grow diet

Wake up late (or just plain need to go to school/work) stop at the drive-thru.  Packing a lunch take 5 minutes you don't have, take 10 minutes to go get something on your lunch break.  Got TV shows later you want to watch, order pizza or Chinese!  Hey if you get really ambitious, shop in the frozen section and you can enjoy lasagne, chicken strips and fries, pizza, burgers, perogies, AND pretend like you made it! Its win-win... well except on the scale I guess.

I used to be so busy I had no time to cook(or so I thought at the time).  Now I'm even busier, and I just make sure I'm prepared.  DON'T GET ME WRONG, I still LOVE my frozen foods, but I make healthier choices or enjoy them in moderation.

I'll Start of Monday Diet

This is probably the worst diet of all.  Every week you tell yourself you are going to start on Monday, so you  spend the week over-indulging in all your favourite foods because you fear you will never have them again.  "I'm starting Monday so I better eat pizza while I can", "I'm starting Monday so I better have McDonalds while I can", "I'm going to make a big cake, because come Monday, cake is off limits".  You get the idea.

So, guess what happened on Monday?  I'll give you a hint, I went from 149, to 307... You don't gain that in a week!

Inconsistent Instant Gratification diet

In this diet, you have healthy days and "Fuck it" days.  On your healthy days, you do really well eating healthy foods.  Then come the "Fuck it" days where you eat whatever the hell you want, because come on, you had two healthy days and you deserve a reward for your hard work. You may have times when you cycle through all the above diets.  bouncing from one to another, having a healthy day here and there, but getting frustrated because you're not losing weight.

Did a lot of this one too.  A LOT, there were many times where I would wake up in the morning thinking I was going to do well that day, but come dinner-time I would be like "FUCK IT" and have fast food and dessert too!

There is one common theme in the diets above, they are all full of excuses I fed myself so I could avoid feeling guilty for bad decisions.

I wouldn't normally refer to what I do now as a diet, but for the purpose of this post, I would say I am on the "Don't go overboard, eat more good than bad, but less overall, diet".

Look what came in the mail!!

I love getting packages in the mail!!

I ordered Chalene Extreme about a week ago.  After I finish the 30 day shred I'm going to start and I'm so excited!  I don't know a whole lot about strength training and I'm doing pretty good with my cardio so I figured that Chalene Extreme would be a good choice for which program I wanted to do next. Originally I wanted to do Turbo Fire (and eventually I still WILL do Turbo Fire) but seeing as I recently had impact related injuries with my plantar fasciitis and knee I decided that is should wait a bit.   So HERE is my Chalene Extreme!

Now, I'm not one for shakes ( I prefer my home-made smoothies, or my go-to breakkie wrap), but they gave me a free 7 day trial of Shakeology, so I thought I would see if any of the hype is true.  I figured since it was free I would try it out and form my own conclusions. 

So after the next two and a half weeks of hell 30 Day Shred with Killian Jillian Michaels, I will begin with Chalene Extreme.  I'm really excited because I love love love Chalene's Turbo Jam DVD's, I find she really know exactly what to say at exactly the right moment and I miss having her "with" me for my morning workouts! 

Aftermath of a good weigh-in

After yesterday's weigh-in (-4lbs) and splurge day, I have been fighting the feeling to give in and treat myself.

WHY does that happen?  

Does my brain not realize I still have oh, I dunno, NINETY SEVEN pounds to go?

See what did I just do? I just ordered a cookie to go WITH my subway, even though I am writing about this RIGHT NOW.  I guess technically its not too bad because it won't put me over my calories, but I did have a healthier snack planned, and now it's been replaced with a cookie.

My brain wants me to self-sabotage. but why?  What am I afraid of.

Losing weight has a lot of benefits:

• Um I look like a hotter version of myself, hello! That's almost enough reason on its own!
• Its way easier to move around.
• My neck fat won't try to suffocate me any more
• I'll get to wear cuter (normal sized) clothes
• My confidence will improve, which means some of my walls might come down
• So my life has a good chance of being a lot longer, meaning I can watch my kids grow longer
• I'll lower my chance of developing Type 2 diabetes (My husband is type 1, and I know that's not fun and I don't love pricking myself. 
• I'll decrease my risk of dying of heart attack or stroke
• I'll be more active in my children's lives
• I'll be setting a positive example for my kids

So again... why would I want to sabotage that?

**And why the heck do I feel worse about subbing a cookie for 100 extra cals, than I did after yesterday's gorge-fest?**

I guess the positive out of this is that I recognize it, and I'm not really doing any big damage, but I do think I need to figure out the answer to this question.  Figure out why some part of me wants to fight my progress.

Part of it is that I hadn't planned on having the cookie, and I do know that when things don't go exactly how I plan, sometimes I feel like a failure, you know unless I do better than my plan, in which case I feel like freaking super woman!

Anyhow, I guess I can ponder that while I run tonight. Running always gives me great insight, inspiration and ideas!

Bubbles and more bubbles!

Wow, what a day for me!  It was very exciting. Starting with my weigh in (Um, guess who is in the 230's now? I'll give you a hint, she's got a giant smile in the picture above!)  After which I went to the Kingfisher Resort for their awesome brunch followed by a wonderfully relaxing time in their Hydropath.  

Brunch

Can you say "delicious"?  I can, this brunch was absolutely mouthwatering!  There was a whole room full of gourmet foods to choose from.  We ordered a couple of mimosas to start off the festivities and then dug right in!  I definitely had way too much food.  I made the choice to do so, and actually did make some healthier choices than I would have in the past, so all in all, I'm happy with my choices.  I didn't eat ALL of the food pictured, but I did have a fair amount.

The Hydropath

This was so awesome.  First we checked in, and had some time to spare, so we got changed and headed outside to the hot tub.  It was a very stormy day, so sitting outside in the hot tub, was extra cool today!  Here is my friend Amber and I getting ready to go downstairs to the Hydropath.

THIS, is me in my bathing suit... eeek!  I can say that it is a huge improvement in what that thing looked like on me during the summer.

Once we were ready we headed down.  It started with a shower, followed by a lumbar massage hot tub! After which we entered a waterfall station.  There were four different waterfall spots to choose from, each offering different water falls targeting different areas on the body. My favortite was the scalp massage one.  Then we moved on to the eucalyptus scented steam room, which got really hot.  Then came the glacier falls shower (brrrr). Amber pretty much dared me to stay in the freezing water for the entire 10seconds, so since I'm a sucker for a challenge, I did it!.

Once we were finished freezing our tata's off, we entered the river walk pictured below. One side was warm, and the other side was cool, and each one had a series of jets that massaged your legs as you slowly make your way through. 

Then came the mineral pool with Epsom salts, and minerals that help detoxify your body. This was so relaxing.  There was a bubble seat in this pool, as well as a rain cloud. I could have stayed for hours.  

After the mineral pool came the scrub and tub station, where we got to exfoliate and relax in stone tubs until they kicked us out!  We headed upstairs to their quiet room, where we relaxed in loungers overlooking the ocean and chatted before getting showered up and heading home.  

Below is me, post relaxation!

It was so nice to have a day to just treat myself.  No kids, no phone, no noise (well other than water).  I felt so relaxed and rejuvenated afterwards, and I can't wait to go back!

Weigh-In time!

Wow, this was awesome!!

238!!

-4lbs this week! After the last two weeks seeming a little slow, this feels like my perseverance is paying off!!

Will post later on today with my Spa day!

Last Chance Time (Week in Review)

I'm going to start doing a "Week in Review" post to log all my accomplishments, and challenges each week.

Exercise

5 -30 Day Shred workouts
3 -20 to 30 min runs
30 min Bike
30 min Elliptical
45 min Zumba
3 long walks

Total of 490 minutes of exercise!
4941 calories obliterated by exercise!

Nutrition

Sunday - 1547cals
Monday - 1887 cals
Tuesday - 1491 cals
Wednesday - 1592 cals
Thursday - 1655 cals
Friday - 1573 cals
Saturday - 1541 cals

Challenges

Well for one, Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred is no joke, and I started level two this week... Its a killer! Planking 240+ pounds is NOT fun... but I did it.  Stupid planks.  Plank Jacks, Plank thrusts, and Plank twists galore... PLANK YOU JILLIAN!

London Fog Teas... FML.  My husband texts me every night to ask if I want one, and every night I am WEAK and say yes.  If you haven't had one... don't bother trying because it can develop into a hard addiction to break.  The good news on that front was that I only drank half of two of them :)  Must resist the damn teas!

Successes

To be quite honest here, I think I pretty much hauled ass this week.  I worked out like a crazy person, and stayed reasonably with in my target calories each day.

I have been trying to add more veggies into my life, and thanks to grilled sweet potatoes, and their friends mushrooms and cauliflower, I have been making progress.  Not perfect at the whole "veggie" thing yet... but its on its way!

I skipped desert!  It was only one night, but after dinner and working out, I decided for once that "Meh, I don't need it".  This is a HUGE step for me.

I ran 30 min straight! I was able to do a lot more in December, but after I injured my knee I did not run for 3 weeks and now I'm happy to be able to run that long without any pain!  Oh also, I did this at the gym with some skinny young chick beside me... I used to get all self concious when someone like that would be exercising near me... but this time I thought "I'm gonna catch you... and then I'm going to run farther than you... You're looking at a future half-marathon runner lady... HA"  Yep, take that!

Boo YA.

"I'll start fresh tomorrow"

Ok, its not me (this time)but I have read and heard this phrase a lot lately.

I have even said it myself.  WHY are we saying this?  Why do we need to "start fresh" every time we fuck up!?

I have been thinking about it a LOT, and have come to a conclusion.  Many of us are infected with perfection.  We think that if we don't do something perfectly, that it is a failure.  That's simply not true.

Weight-loss/physical fitness, is NOT about being perfect.  (Let's be honest here people, if we were perfect none of us would end up fat).  It is a journey, and if that journey went perfectly and according to plan then it wouldn't be nearly as rewarding at the end.  Obstacles are there to be overcome, and challenges are there to learn from.

I for one, will not be "starting fresh" on my weight-loss journey, ever again.  I have come too far, learned too much, and succeeded too many times to write it off so I can have a *perfect* record.

Instead of "starting fresh" I will learn from my mistakes, overcome my weaknesses, and acknowledge my successes.

It's fine to make mistakes, it doesn't mean you failed, it only means you're human... You learn from mistakes, you learn how you can not make the same ones again (sometimes you need to mess up a LOT to get it right).

P.S. If you weren't human, I probably wouldn't be your friend... but that's debatable!

Ok, rant over! :)

Lululemon Memories! (I found it!!!)

There it is!  My Lululemon hoodie!  I haven't worn it in probably about 5 years.

Actually my Mother-In-Law found it for me when she was cleaning :)   It has been found none-the-less.

Even when I bought it, it was a little snug.  But, I loved it because it was my Lululemon hoodie!  I wore it as often as I could.  The color (which in real life has a little bit more green to it) was beautiful, the fabric is thick, the sleeves are long... ahhh. I love this sweat-shirt!

Seeing this shirt has brought back some memories of when I used to wear it.  I remember feeling fat back then (I was a size 12/14 190-200lbs).  While I was larger than I had been at my lightest, I wasn't obese... yet.  I remember walking to and from work, it probably lasted all of two weeks as work was about an hours walk with a giant hill.  

I sit here now, and laugh at that girl that wore my lululemon hoodie (me).  I thought I was giant and that 40lbs or even just 20lbs was too much to conquer.  I would exercise, but then eat more and get disappointed when I didn't lose weight.  I would fall off the wagon and consume lots of high fat, high sugar foods to make myself "feel better".  I would consume a good portion of alcohol to do the same.  I had lost weight (90lbs) once, but for some reason, I hadn't learned, or adapted well to my new/old non-city life. At this point I had gained about 40lbs back.  At the time, I kept looking on how much I failed, not how much I was still ahead.  I kept trying and crashing and giving in to my entitlement issues.  

My husband is a rail (Sorry hunny if you ready this but you're borderline stick-person).  When I met him I went from watching what I ate and running 3x a week, to spending all my time hanging out with him and going out to restaurants.  I was so insecure, I didn't want to take the time to take care of myself because I was a stage 5 clinger.  A previous relationship had ended REALLY REALLY bad, and left me in a state where I had little to no trust in men any more.  (Thanks to my husband who stuck with me and my sack of issues all this time, see I told you I'd get better!)

I am happy to say I have worked REALLY hard on all those issues and don't have a problem taking a little time for myself, or letting allowing not having an issue when my husband wants to get out without me.  

Anyhow, bottom line is I found my hoodie, and I WILL fit it again!!  I'll just be a better me than the lady who wore it last time ;)

Top 10 things that have helped me get this far!

1. Support

Support is what got me started, and support keeps my head in the game.  My main supporter left on her trip to Thailand in December.  I knew I would need more support, and previous to December I was pretty "hush hush" about my weight-loss journey because I didn't want people to know in case I failed... again!  So I started my Facebook Page, and then decided to give blogging another go.  So now here I am, and I have found such a wonderful group of women on similar journeys!!  They have all helped inspire me to do my best.  Also, I found a whole bunch of people, already in my life, that were so excited to cheer me on during my journey!  I was really nervous at first, but having it all out in the open is very freeing.

2. MyFitnessPal

Wow, MyFitnessPal! I cannot say enough great things about this app/site.  It has helped my be aware of everything I put into my body and learned to balance my food.  When I know I'm going to be indulging, I can plan ahead and save calories, or work out and earn extra calories!  I've had many challenging days but only one week where I didn't lose (and actually gained).  MyFitnessPal also helps make me accountable because I keep my food diary open for all to see.  It shows the days where I have gone over, and all my other successful days. My MFP friends get to cheer me on for all my under days, every pound I lose, and any updates I post there!

3. iPhone

Or as I like to call it my "Life Enhancing Device".  I absolutely love this thing. I have my MFP app on my phone which makes logging my food VERY convenient, and making food decisions while I'm out of the house, even easier.  I also have my pedometer app, my couch to 5k app, my iMapMyRun app, and many more apps that make this journey easier!  Apps rock my world!

4. Polar Heart Rate Monitor

My heart rate monitor accurately measures the calories I burn during a workout.  This is very useful for me with my tracking because it makes sure that when I track my exercise calories burned and decide to eat them back, I can accurately gauge exactly how many that is so I don't over-eat.  It also helps motivate me during my workouts because I can see where my heart rate is, and  know whether I need to step it up a notch, or back it off.


5. Easing up on myself

So, sometimes I mess up.  Sometimes I mess up BAD!  This happens to all of us who are not perfect.  I have worked, and I am still working, on letting those days go and actually using them for motivation to work harder and keep going.  I used to let these days derail me and make me feel like I couldn't do it because I couldn't do it perfectly.  I have learned that the real success isn't doing it perfectly, but learning from my mistakes and getting back on track no matter how hard it may seem at the time.  Often I am only one good workout, or day away from being right back where I was and continuing on my journey!

6. Small goals

Well, I started with 167lbs to lose... Over half my body weight.  How did I get there?  I thought 20 was too hard to lose, then 60, then 90, then 120... you get the idea.  NOW I work in 5lb intervals.  Much smaller,  much more attainable and I get so excited when I meet each new goal!  I'm 3lbs away from my next one (239lbs).  Its only a few days, or maybe a week and I bit until I meet or surpass that goal, and it keeps me working hard!  I also think weekly weigh-ins have helped, but it didn't make this list.

7. Fitness goals

So once the eating became routine, and the pounds started going down, it was exciting. Eventually it starts to get kind of repetitive and this is a point where people are at risk of losing sight of their journey, especially when they have a lot to lose. Setting goals outside of weight keeps me motivated to continue on regardless of bad weeks and routine.  I wanted to complete Couch to 5k, and I did it.  I'm working on completing the 30 day shred right now.  Next I want to to Chalene Extreme, then Turbo Fire, the P90X.  ALSO I want to run.  I am signing up for a half marathon later this year that will require some real athletic training!  All of these things will help me with my weight-loss goals, but also make me feel good to be working towards them in themselves!

8. Fitness DVDs & Games

So simple.  Don't know what to do with weights, or want to mix up your regular workout routines.  My DVDs keep it exciting.  I started with Turbo Jam (which I LOVE and will be doing for the foreseeable future),  The Shred is a DVD, my Chalene Extreme is a DVD set, I have a Jillian Michaels Extreme Shed and Shred I am excited to do in the future, I have hip-hop abs, Yoga, Pilates... and I will be getting more.  My workouts never get boring because I have so many to mix it up!  I also just started using our X-Box Kinect.  I have The Biggest Loser game, Just Dance 3, and Zumba!!

9. Alarm Clock

Sounds silly, but waking up in the morning can be really challenging.  I like to get workouts in in the morning so I don't have them hovering over my head all day, and also I don't know about the rest of you, but in the evenings I am BEAT!  Sometimes I can make it to the gym or go for a walk, but sometimes I just want to relax, and then I find it even harder to get myself motivated.  I have an alarm clock app on my phone that uses graduake so the music starts very softly so I don't get that jolted away feeling.  **When I wake up to loud noises I can be one CRANKY B****.

10. Yummy Low Cal Snacks

Yes.  I have a huge sweet tooth.  Having healthy low-cal treats like Skinny Cow, Vitatops, and Fiber One bars keep me feeling satisfied without having mega calories.   One of my new favorites is a toasted Vitatop with a 1/4 cup of vanilla ice cream on top!  160 cals of delicious and a good hit of fiber :)




** I'm just saying that these things work for ME.  They may not work for everyone, but the trick is finding what works for YOU!

It always feels so good to turn a bad week around!!

I started this week off horribly (or at least I felt like it)!  Last Sunday I was over my calories by a LOT.  I had planned to work it off, but felt too lazy and gave in to the temptations of the couch!

Monday and Tuesday weren't too bad, but I felt like I ate too much.  Wednesday I did ok eating-wise, but let my husband talk me out of doing my workout... I felt like crap.  Hence my Wednesday post Lazy or Moderation.

Thursday morning, I woke up and decided to turn this ship around.  I'm pretty sure I let me last week's weigh-in get the best of me.  I only lost 1lb from Monday, but I had burned enough cals for 3!

**The scale reminds me of the Honey Badger sometimes, and  Honey Badger don't give a shit!**

Any ways, like I was saying, Thursday I decided to get out of my funk and bring it!!  I hauled butt the last three days and today, I weighed in and lost 2lbs for the week!!

It feels so good when I turn it around like that.  I feel like "Oh yeah rough week? I'm going to show YOU who's boss... You think you got me all defeated and stuff... well WATCH OUT because this lady is about to kick it into high gear."

I won!

I'm going to do what?!?!

I've been really hesitant about setting public goals lately... I'll tell everyone what I have done, and what I am doing, but I'm pretty vague about what I would actually like to do.  I have a hard time committing to a specific plan because I don't want to fail or be judged.  This is something I am working on.

With that being said, I have been thinking about my running goals for a while now, ever since I completed the couch to 5k program.  When they ran the marathon on Biggest Loser I felt like "Why not?".  If they can run a marathon, SO CAN I.

Anyhow, on Facebook there have been a few ladies that have also inspired this decision. One, Workout Girl, who just finished her first half-marathon at DISNEY!  She totally rocked it!! Also Sara - Use it 2 lose it, also committed to running her first half-marathon in October.

Well, I was checking out local races and found that there is a marathon/half-marathon/8k called Goodlife Fitness Victoria Marathon.  I checked out the route, and it looks like it would be a fantastic run with AMAZING scenery.  Its not until October 7th, 2012, so I have roughly 266 days to prepare.

Also, the run goes right past the houses I lived in when I was 2-3 years old, and the house where I actually created my longest lasting memory.  A house where I made a scar, not once, but twice(in the exact same spot) that is on my forehead and become a part of my identity.  The same house where my parents got married.  What a fitting place to run MY very first half-marathon!

Not going to lie, I'm totally scared.  I hope my injuries heal up so I can start training more and working my way towards this.  Either way, I'm putting it OUT there...

I AM WORKING TOWARDS MY FIRST HALF-MARATHON!!

I won today!!

Yesterday I posted about "Lazy or Moderation", I was feeling low, and tired, and just plain UN-motivated.  I had a few hiccups and was struggling to get my workouts it.

Now today, it is a whole different story :).  After yesterday, I decided to go to bed early and set my alarm to wake-up hoping that I would have the drive to haul some workout a$$.  I am so happy to come back and say that I killed it this morning!!

I woke up at 5:30am, took the time to really wake-up, and headed out to my living room.  I put in the 30 Day Shred, and gave Jillian all that I had to give.  Once I was done, I still had time so I decided to pop in one of my old faves and let Chalene have her way with me in her Turbo Jam: Fat Buster workout.  I felt so good afterwards and it really set me up for success today!

I totally stayed within my calories, and I made healthy choices too!!

I have discovered a new love of roasted sweet potatoes.  I slice them up in roughly 1cm coins (quarter or half them).  I spray the pan with some cooking spray, place the potatoes on, spray them again and then sprinkle them with salt and garlic powder.  I roast them in the over at 400 for about 30min (flipping half-way through).  Let them cool for a couple minutes and they are an incredibly yummy salty/sweet addition to a meal or a snack on their own!

Going to try to repeat going to bed early and exercising early tomorrow.  I really feel that rise n' sweat is a great way to start the day.  That way I get my burn in early, no pressure for the rest of the day, and feel amazing!

Lazy or Moderation?

Well, this week I am REALLY struggling.  Not too much food-wise, but more so with energy and exercise.

I had committed to doing the 30 Day Shred... Every day for 30 days.  Yeah, that's not happening.

I have now decided I will take rest days and do it 5 days per week in addition to 3 hours of cardio. I was going to do it Mon-Fri.  Now I have revised it even further and I'm going to take Wednesday off, and do the 5th day on Saturday to get my 5 days in.  This may be related to the fact that I have ended up sleeping in the last two days and have found in hard to come up with the energy in the evening to go out and do it.

I'm having a hard time dealing with that because when I make a promise to myself, and especially when I have all of you watching, I'm not sure whether I am giving myself excuses, or practising moderation.  I have a problem with taking things to the extreme and I'm trying to find the balance.  Last week I feel that I over-did it a little bit. I was extremely tired by the weekend.  So this week I decided to slow it down and hopefully get my energy back up.

I guess these are some of the struggles that come with a weight-loss journey.

I plan on getting up early and doing my workout tomorrow morning to get it out of the way and see if I feel better about things. I just want to wrap my head around it a little, seeing as I am confused about if I should see this (not working out today) as a failure, or a good move in moderation.

If only I had a personal trainer and nutritionist to tell me what the right thing to do is... would make all this wondering a whole lot better!

I don't have that, so I have to play the guessing game!  Hope I'm making the right guesses.

On the positive side, one thing I do know is that I am no where near giving up.  I may slow it down, I may screw up here and there but I am still moving in the right direction, even if I don't feel like a super-hero every day!  Sometimes I just need to power-down a little and re-group to have strength to move forward!

Top 10 foods I keep in my kitchen!

1. Apples

I love having apples around because they are sweet, refreshing, and have fibre in them!!  Chop one up in the afternoon and pair it with some protein, and I am good to go!

2.  Fibre One Bars

Fibre one bars are like my guiltless guilty treat!  They are delicious, full of fibre and pretty easy on the calories!  I usually have at least one a day!

3.Vitatops!

Oh my goodness, this things are GREAT!  100 calories, lots of fibre, YUMMY.  When my husband went out to buy some and saw them on clearance... I literally cleared out the store.  I gave him strict orders "No soldier (meaning boxes of vitatops) left behind!"  They are an AWESOME snack at the end of the day if you really have a sweet craving, and want to be a little naughty... throw some cool whip or 1/4cup vanilla ice cream on those bad boys and you are set!

4. Cheese Strings  

These babies are the perfect little dose of protein and only 60cals and 6g of protein!

5.  Blue Menu Turkey Bacon!! 

NOM.  For only 30 cals and 4g protein a slice, it's pretty darn good. It's also lower in sodium than a few other brands I have tried.

6.  Skinny Cow Ice Cream Cones.  

MAN these are good!!  150 calories, low in fat and absolutely delicious!  I usually have one of these cones, or one of the vanilla ice cream sandwiches for desert every night!

7.  Cutie oranges.  

80 cal for two, they fix my sweet cravings and get 290% of my daily intake of Vitamin C

8. Lean Ground Turkey (especially when its on sale/reduced like this pack was).  

Ground turkey is awesome!  You can do most of the same things with it as ground beef, but with less fat.  I use it for Turkey Meatloaf, Turkey Tacos, Turkey Burgers, Turkey Chili... Its great and versatile! 

9.  Egg-whites

30 cals for 1/4 cup and 7g of protein.  Almost every morning I make myself an egg-white and turkey bacon wrap.  Egg whites and pretty much pure protein and help keep me full until snack or lunch-time. 

10.  BodyWise wraps.  

80 cals each I use these bad boys at least once a day. I usually have them for breakfast, and sometimes lunch or dinner when I'm making a steak and feta or chicken wrap! 

There are a lot more, like feta cheese, a good salad mix, turkey pepperoni, diet root beer, and so on, but these are probably my top frequently eaten foods that I make sure I have on hand!  

Swearing! (Absolutely horrible language, you've been warned)

Ok, so this is a little off-topic, but as I was cleaning today I got really pumped.

**Sorry if I offend anyone, but this is just a part of me**

As I was saying, I got really pumped.  When I get pumped, I start to swear.  Don't worry, my kids were down for a nap, no under-age eardrums were violated during this endeavour.

I don't know about anyone else, but swearing make me feel like such a bad-ass! (FYI, I was totally by myself, but if you're with me when I'm pumped, you will witness the same phenomenon)  So here I am dancing around my house cleaning up, totally PUMPED, and I'm saying to myself "That's right bitch, you're going to fuckin kill this weight loss journey", "Look at this clean ass kitchen you got going on!", "That fruit on display looks fan-fucking-tabulous", "Check out this sweeping action... MUTHA-FUCKA (mutha-fucka is said in that high little voice, because that's the funnest way to say it)".

Yep this daycare lady has a potty mouth.  I dunno, maybe its because around the kids, and ESPECIALLY around other peoples kids, I gotta keep this shit on lock-down, but once there are no babes around and I am pumped... there is no stopping this bitch. Even typing it is fun!

I read a study once that said its a stress reliever!  I definitely felt relieved.

Have a great week :)

You is kind, You is Smart, You is Important

I have always battled with confidence.  You know, that thing people have, where they actually believe in themselves?   Apparently it's really empowering.

I watched a movie last night called "The Help".  Its about a woman who writes a novel about African Americans who worked in white people houses.  These women basically open up and tell all these crazy stories about what they encountered in their work that they would NEVER normally tell because they were afraid of what the repercussions would be for them and their families.

Now the part of that movie that stuck with ME last night, was one lady who was a house-maid/nanny.  She would look at the little girl every day and say "You is kind, you is smart, you is important".  She gets the little girl to repeat after her everyday. She makes this little girl feel great about herself.

Later on when my Husband got home, we had a talk.  I think one of the most important things I want to give to my children is confidence.  We started talking about our younger years.  I was a pretty good discus and shot-put thrower back in my day, but I didn't really work for it too much. I relied on my natural ability, and I was pretty good. When I think about how hard I am working NOW, and how little I did THEN, it seems CRAZY!.  How good could I have been, if I had only put my everything into it?  An everything I didn't even know existed in me?   Jeff was saying basically the same thing, except he played baseball.  He relied on the ability he had, but didn't work as hard as he could have to get to his potential.

We both believed that at least part of that was confidence.  Even if we put everything into it, it wouldn't make a difference so why bother? I was also too busy feeling like the fat girl, and trying to make myself feel better that I didn't really have the drive to make myself physically better in an athletic nature.  Um, HELLO, boys don't like me. All my pretty friends will hang out with me more if I do things for them.  They are "cool". I spent a lot of time wishing I could live in this alternate universe where I was pretty, boys liked me, and I was COOL.

Ok, ok I know that's part of how teenagers think... but seriously, I wasted a LOT of time on nothing productive.

I've come a long way from then.  I actually AM pretty darn cool. I can be funny, I can be a good friend (without compromising myself, ok maybe I hold back a little now because I felt so taken advantage of in the past but that's another blog post), I'm pretty well-rounded, I'm open minded, I've met many different kinds of people, and I like to have FUN.

Bottom line, is I want to keep working on it to set an example for my kids, and I think I'm on the right path!

When my son got up this morning, I told him.  "You are kind, you are strong, you are important" probably 10 times.  I even told my daughter, but she wanted her bottle instead ;)


Here he is showing me how strong he is :)

Times are a changin!

NOTE: For those of you who don't know me personally, and even for some of you that do, I am not perfect.  I make mistakes, my strength is intermittent, and although I try, sometimes I fail.  In this blog I will celebrate my successes, but I will ALSO share many of my failures.  I do this because I am working on putting ME out there and not just the good side.  I also do this because I want to show that failure doesn't have to hold us back, and that we can learn and conquer even if we aren't perfect.

With respect to weight-loss, so many people (including myself) when faced with disappointment completely jump off the wagon, and run the other way.  They might have a weak moment and have something that is not on their plan, might not work out one day, might completely BOMB one week and then they think they screwed it up.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO SUCCEED AT WEIGHT-LOSS, YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP TRYING!

• Maybe its not coming off as fast as you want, but it will still come off eventually if you keep trying. 
• Maybe you fucked up and ate a cake, but if you keep trying you'll burn off that cake and the 2047 other cupcakes that got you where you were when you started.
• Maybe you got injured and can't do your normal exercise, but if you keep trying you'll find there are 890 other exercises you can do and will be able to be in better shape when your injury is healed.
• Maybe you slipped up every day for two weeks, but if you keep trying you'll stop slipping up!

Every DAY is a new beginning people!!  Guess what!!?? It doesn't MATTER what you did yesterday any more...  What matters is what you do today!!

So, in other news:


I've mentioned before how when my hubby would go out to play poker, I used to eat to "get back at him".

Well tonight is Friday night.  For the first time in over a month, my husband will be leaving me to go out and play poker.  In the last month I have realized that I actually LIKE the time to myself.  I have missed my Friday nights doing my own thing.

So what are my plans for tonight?  I don't plan on ordering pizza, or making him bring me home desert.  Tonight I am excited to get my shred on, followed by The Biggest Loser Ultimate Workout for Kinect and Just Dance 3!  If I'm still feeling like staying up after, I'm going to watch a chick-flick!

Ok, so I know its not wild and crazy, it might even be a little lame, but I am going to enjoy myself!

I am currently on day five of the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels.  My New Years Challenge is to do the 3 levels of this workout for 10 days each in January, in addition to 3 hours of cardio per week.  I'm doing pretty good so far, it keeps challenging me, but is easier mentally to accomplish because it goes by quickly so the entire workout is like a count-down.

First Post of 2012, Success!!

December was a ROUGH month!! I was challenged in a lot of ways! I made a lot of bad choices. Between time-off, injury, having my co-worker leave for 3 months (yes there is only one person I work with), holiday goodies, and stress, I think I actually did pretty good! I'm down 7lbs for December! Sure it could have been more... If I was perfect.

I'm not perfect though and losing while facing challenges is a big success for me!

Originally in September I wanted to hit 240lbs by January 2nd. In early December I realized that would most likely not be realistic for me, an decided to change my goal to 245.

In hind-sight it would have worked out if I didn't have such a rough patch for two weeks, if I hadn't ever decided to have a "spike week". But maybe it will help me long term, who knows.

This morning, I HIT my mini-goal!!!

42lbs lost in 3.5 months!


Now, onto the present. January is going really well so far! I've been under on my calories, and have everything pre-logged for the week, and today I finished my first day of the 30 Day Shred!! Here I am post-workout and still smiling.

Jillian had my heart rate up around 170-180 the entire workout!!! WOW.  

I'm feeling so positive right now.  I *CAN* do this.  I feel like I'm just starting and the last 3 months was really a week. I'm not sure why. I don't know when you're supposed to feel like a veteran weight loser, but I'm not there yet. 

One thing I can see being an issue is that I still see my 300lb self in the mirror. I still think of myself as that same larger woman. I mean I am definitely still large, but I'm nervous that there will come a time where I am not obese any more and I won't be able to see it. Maybe it will just take time.  

For now I am enjoying my Skinny Cow Ice Cream cone and prepping for another morning with Jillian!